I鈥檓 told I鈥檓 full of 鈥�.ummm 鈥渃rap.鈥澛犅燗nd so are most of you.聽Literally.聽So say the promoters of various colon cleansers.聽Actually, they鈥檙e not quite so crass, they prefer to use gentler terms like, fecal matter, impacted waste, or 鈥渟packle.鈥澛燘ut the message is clear.聽Our colons are loaded with a repulsive noxious sludge, the result of an improper diet and a 鈥渢oxic鈥� environment. This putrid goo sticks to the wall of the colon, boosting our body weight.聽Even worse, it releases its foul contents into our blood, poisoning our entire system.聽The result?聽A nation of bloated sickies who lack energy and mental clarity.聽The unnamed toxins are powerful indeed, causing, we are told, ailments ranging from asthma, allergies and prostate problems to cancer, heart disease and an impaired sex drive.聽But luckily there is salvation in sight.聽We can sweep the fetid guck out of our colon with one of a myriad colon cleansers that compete for our attention, and of course for our dollars, via ads that populate radio waves, magazines and the Internet.聽
And what spirited and imaginative ads! One product claims that we have anywhere from six to forty pounds of waste, feces and undigested food stuck in our bodies.聽Another one compares the weight of the waste to carrying a bowling ball in our gut.聽Then there are accounts of famous people who died and were found to be full of intestinal sludge.聽John Wayne, depending on which product鈥檚 info you鈥檙e reading, was found to have anywhere from forty to eighty pounds of impacted matter in his colon.聽A curious claim, given that no autopsy was performed on the Duke.聽But the most inspired ads are the ones that provide us with a visual extravaganza of the 鈥渕ucoid plaque鈥� that is eliminated by users of colon cleansers.聽The pictures show the relieved patient holding the cause of his former misery, a long, gummy looking repulsive excretion.聽This, we鈥檙e told, is the toxic guck that had built up in his colon over years before making a triumphant exit, stimulated by the wondrous colon cleanser!
Now let鈥檚 get real here.聽Have pathologists who have carried out thousands of autopsies seen pounds of goo encrusted in intestines?聽No.聽Have colo-rectal surgeons who have operated on colons thousands of times seen such sludge?聽No.聽Have radiologists who have perused thousands of x-rays of the colon noted the buildup of 鈥渕ucoid plaque?鈥� No.聽Why?聽Because it doesn鈥檛 exist.聽The term itself was the invention of naturopath Richard Anderson who created Arise and Shine, a popular colon cleanser.聽So what then is the yucky stuff that has emerged from the rear of a happy colon cleanser devotee that we see revoltingly displayed in those photos on the web?聽Supposing that the pictures are not faked, I suspect what we are looking at is the colon cleanser itself making an impressive appearance.
Although the specific ingredients in these products vary, they all contain some sort of laxative, be it a fiber blend or an extract of cascara sagrada bark, well known to stimulate intestinal contractions.聽Classic fibers include psyllium husk, flax seed, fennel seed, slippery elm bark, apple pectin and guar gum.聽聽All of these can send you running in a hurry.聽And they are indeed prescribed for that very purpose by physicians.聽But problems can arise.聽Fiber absorbs water in the gut and sometimes can swell, making it difficult to expel.聽Usually this is prevented by drinking lots of water which helps flush out the fiber before it has a chance to expand and form an intestinal blockage.聽聽In rare cases, with just the right (actually wrong) amount of water consumed, the mixture of fibers can be expelled as a long stringy slimy glop.聽The likelihood of this happening is increased if the colon cleanser contains bentonite clay, sometimes included for its ability to 鈥渁bsorb toxins.鈥澛燬uch an impressive excremental display would be very rare, and certainly not something that all users should expect, contrary to what the promoters imply.聽And most assuredly the disgusting exudate is not any sort of toxic buildup being expelled.
Of course just because the pounds of intestinal gunk only exist in the sluggish mind of some quack, we can鈥檛 assume that products that help to evacuate the colon more regularly have no merit.聽What we need, though, are not baseless statements like 鈥渁 dirty colon is a breeding ground for disease,鈥� or testimonials from users about how their bad breath, dizziness, irritability or 鈥渂rain fog鈥� were resolved after scrubbing and buffing their colon.聽How about some evidence?聽
Well you can search the scientific literature high and low and you will not find any proper controlled trial of colon cleansers showing they have any health benefit.聽How about problems?聽Possible.聽Back in the early 90s, guar gum, an ingredient present is some colonics, was banned in the U.S. from diet products.聽At the time chewing gum with added guar gum was a hot seller because it was supposed to curb the appetite by filling the stomach as it absorbed water.聽It did, but it also caused esophageal and intestinal blockages.聽And yet, there it is today in some colon cleansers.聽One of these actually makes the claim of weight loss as it uses guar gum to 鈥渆vercleanse鈥� the pounds and pounds of (nonexistant) 鈥渟packle鈥� from the colon.聽It is not the colon but the absurd claim that needs to be cleansed.
While the cleaning effect of colonics on colons is questionable, their effect on cleaning out bank accounts is not.聽A month鈥檚 supply needed to 鈥渄redge toxic sediment鈥� can run up to a tidy little sum.聽Why not spend the money instead on what goes into the colon rather than on what comes out.聽A diet high in whole grains, fresh fruits and vegetables is what your colon and the rest of your body really needs.聽Granted, your output may not be quite as spectacular as the samples seen in those colon cleanser ads, but you and your bank account will be healthier.聽Of course, if you are a fervent believer in colon cleansing, you will not be deterred by my arguments and will remain convinced that unlike you, I鈥檓 full of 鈥渃rap.鈥�
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