On a recent trip to the U.S. I perused the menu and decided on a cheese sandwich. When I queried the waitress about the kind of cheese involved, I was told, 鈥淎merican!鈥� I replied I was interested in the type of cheese, not its citizenship. 鈥淵ou know, American, the plastic kind鈥� came the irritated response. I now knew I had to prep the taste buds for 鈥減rocessed鈥� cheese.
鈥淲ould you like it with just mayo?鈥� 鈥淣ot just mayo,鈥� I replied, 鈥淚鈥檇 like lettuce and tomato as well.鈥� 鈥淵es, but with just mayo or real mayo?鈥� Sensing my confusion, the waitress turned on her heels and returned with a jar sporting the label 鈥淛ust Mayo.鈥� Looked real to me. I decided not to torment the poor lady further and decided that 鈥淛ust Mayo鈥� would be just fine with my plastic cheese.
鈥淎merican cheese鈥� really is plastic. But don鈥檛 start conjuring up images of cheese makers grinding up recycled plastic bottles. A plastic is simply any material that can be molded into a desired shape, and processed cheese does fit that definition.
It was back in 1916 that cheese merchant J.L. Kraft, plagued by complaints of inconsistent quality, hatched a scheme to mix a variety of cheeses and blend them with water to produce a uniform product. For a smooth consistency Kraft had to devise a method to prevent the fat, protein and the water from separating. Sodium monohydrogen phosphate turned out to be an ideal 鈥渆mulsifier,鈥� and ensured that people who like their cheeseburgers can count on a slice that will always taste the same and melt in a uniform fashion. And yes, processed cheese does melt, as anyone who has ever made a grilled cheese sandwich can attest.
That is contrary to the implication of a widely circulating video portraying processed cheese as some sort of Satanic product because it does not melt in the heat of a flame. One viewer was prompted to wonder if this is why 鈥渃ancer is on the rise,鈥� and another asked why Kraft puts plastic in its cheese. No, there鈥檚 no plastic. But there are emulsifiers that bind the cheese鈥檚 components tightly and do not lose their hold with a sudden increase in temperature. They do, however, let go with prolonged heating at a lower temperature. There is nothing devilish here, just some clever chemistry. Nutritionally, processed cheese is comparable to whatever cheese was used to make it, usually cheddar. It does tend to be higher in sodium, but if there is any risk to be had from processed cheese, it is to the palate.
Now what about 鈥淛ust Mayo?鈥� Isn鈥檛 it real mayonnaise? Not according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. 鈥淢ayonnaise" is defined as a condiment that must contain a specific amount of vegetable oil and egg yolk. But what if you shorten the name and call it 鈥淛ust Mayo?鈥� Does it still have to contain eggs? No, says Josh Tetrick of Hampton Creek, maker of the new-fangled spread that advertises itself as being healthier, more environmentally friendly, and more humane than 鈥渞eal mayonnaise鈥� The term 鈥渕ayo鈥� is not defined, Tetrick maintains, and he says he does not sell his product as mayonnaise. 鈥淚t鈥檚 Just Mayo!鈥�
The 鈥渕ore humane鈥� refers to the way egg-laying chickens are raised in small cages. True, the peas that are grown to produce the protein extract used to emulsify the oil and vinegar in Just Mayo have a peaceful life, and presumably do not suffer when their pods are wrenched apart. The 鈥渆nvironmental friendliness鈥� is based on the ratio of energy input to food energy output for eggs being about 39-to-1, whereas Just Mayo鈥檚 plant ingredients that replace eggs weigh in at a ratio 2-to-1.
Hampton Creek may be on firm footing when it comes to promoting the benefits of 鈥渘o eggs鈥� in terms of environmental footprint, but when it comes to implication of health benefits, the company is trampling in mud. Both Just Mayo and Hellman鈥檚 鈥渞eal mayonnaise,鈥� contain 90 calories per serving from 10 grams of fat. The 5 milligrams of cholesterol in the real mayo is inconsequential. Curiously, Just Mayo lists its protein content as zero, yet its promotional material describes how the company鈥檚 biochemists have investigated numerous plants to come up with a protein that can rival egg yolk as an emulsifier. Obviously not much of this protein is needed in the product. And how did the sandwich taste? Like plastic cheese with fake mayo.
